Favorite (non-TZ) TV Quotes

Hey I just thought of a good one from Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law "Get ready to feel the power...OF ATTORNEY."

The rhymes that Allyce Beasley answered the phone with on Moonlighting. I don't remember any specific ones, but I always thought they were a riot.

My favorite quote is from my favorite Sealab 2021 episode "Hail Squishface" where he says to the saleslady "You got anything that doesn't suck?" and then he says "so non-sucky stuff, whadya got?" and I also like the quote "How much ass does THAT kick?"

I just got Sealab 2021 Season 2 which has "Hail, Squishface"on it. That was a very funny episode. It was like a combination of Gremlins and the episode of Star Trek The Original Series "The Trouble With Tribbles".

"He's dead Jim." Doctor "Bones" McCoy...any given time.

"I'm a Doctor, not a......." (insert any appropriate word to fit said situation) Doctor McCoy

Oh yeah pal and of course, "Beam me(us) up."

Leen

Sam AKA Scott Bakula, at the end of every episode of Quantam Leap...

"Oh boy!"

I second that!

Which reminds me of the line Hannibal said at the end of each "A-Team":

"I love it when a plan comes together."

Leen

Another one from Star Trek:

Spock: "Fascinating."


Scooby-Doo:

Shaggy--"Zoinks!"

Daphne--"Jeepers!"

Velma--"Jinkies!"

And of course--"And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!"

The Simpsons
"Holy flurking shnit!" - Kang (or was it Kodos?)

"You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment,' and God bless her soul, she was really onto something." - Homer

"Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!" - Homer

"It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone". - Homer

Seinfeld
George: "I can sense the slightest human suffering."
Jerry: "Are you sensing anything right now?"

Jerry: "You don't even know what a write-off is."
Kramer: "Do you?"
Jerry: "No, I don't."
Kramer: "Well they do. And they're the ones who are writing it off."

Friends
Monica: "The camera adds ten pounds."
Chandler: "So how many cameras are actually on you?"

Spongebob Squarepants
Spongebob: "Great Squidward, you finished! What's your wish?"
Squidward: "My wish is that the people of Bikini Bottom will stop paying any attention to the inane drivel that is constantly streaming out of this dunderhead's mouth!"
Spongebob: "Gee Squidward, maybe Santa will bring me a dictionary so I can understand what you just said."

Con Artist: "I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night I lay awake in agony until my heartattacks put me to sleep."

Spongebob: "So, do you deliver your own mail, or is there another mailman that delivers your mail? Is there a never ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen?"

Patrick: "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma."

Plankton: "What's this? Drops of rain frozen into ice crystals? I shall harness their energy and rule the world!"

So, that's where that signature was from. (I think you used Patrick's "inner machinations" line as a signature, too, didn't you?) Where's the current one from? A Vic Thrill song, I would hazard to guess.

Keeping track of my signatures, eh? Ah, that reminds me of something else from The Simpsons...."scratch, eh? ...internet, eh?... Maude, eh?". That's probably only really funny to me. That was all Homer. Ned had some lines in there that prompted the "ehs" but I can't remember exactly what they were. Something about a home business.

Actually, my current signature is from a Bogmen song, but close enough.

"The Rat Patrol"
Sgt. Troy, usually at the end of an episode, after having done in the bad guys: "Let's shake it!"

"How the hell could you pardon Nixon?" and "My wish, is that everyone, would just shut up" both said by Red on That '70s Show.

"I guess I'm not so average anymore"-The Secret World of Alex Mack
"An innocent victim of blind justice"-The Fugitive (both versions)
"This is, the Night Gallery"-Night Gallery
"Now I know, and knowing is half the battle"-G.I. Joe
"Cowabunga!"-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
"BURN"-That '70s Show
"You're the most persistent creature I've ever met, but likeable. The astonishing thing is you're likeable"-Columbo
"If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"-Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer
"Worst episode...EVER"-The Simpsons
"Now I know why you wanna die and now I know why you wanna kill him"-Becker (said to a fighting married couple)
"Just one more thing"-Columbo
"Trust me. I know what I'm doing"-Sledgehgammer!
"I know how he did it"-Monk
"I just solved the case."-Monk
"I got stupid in stereo"-Saturday Night Live
"You know, sometimes I wish you'd just shut your big YAPPER!"-SNL
"Do not attempt to adjust your set"-The Outer Limits
"Screw you guys, I'm going home!"-South Park
"I say lay back and enjoy it. It's a hell of a taboggan ride"-The Simpsons
"Eeexcellent"-The Simpsons
"Everything is numbers"-Numbers
"I wanna dip my BALLS in it!"-The State
"It STINKS!"-The Critic

That single word goes back to TV's infancy. It was the favorite epithet of Chief Thunderthud on Howdy Doody, the show with which I grew up in the 1950s, but which actually began in 1947.

"Kojak"
Kojak: "Who loves ya, baby?"

"Baretta"
Baretta: "And that's the name of that tune."

Mythbusters--

Jamie Hyneman: "When will the fun ever end?"

Adam Savage: "I wouldn't say that Jamie's an evil genius."

Law & Order--

ADA Claire Kincaid: "I don't know how he ever thought he had a chance with her."
EADA Jack McCoy: "Men have a way of deluding themselves about these things."
Claire: "I take it you're speaking from personal experience?"
Jack (grins at her): "Not recently, I hope!"

Det. Lennie Briscoe: "I got a date."
Det. Profaci: "This late?"
Lennie: "The later it gets, the better they look."

It Takes A Thief--

John Douglas Rainey: "Hey, are we still in Jersey?"
Matt Johnston: "Yeah."
John: "Come on, let's get out of here!"

Grrrrrrrrrrr...

http://www.pineypower.com/jerseydevil2.jpg

Thanks for defending our state, JBWB. Unfortunately, thanks to the incompetence of the NHL, that's the only Jersey Devil we'll be seeing for a while.

MST3K: "Manos: The Hands of Fate"

"Tonight on Night Gallery..."
"So, boss, about that execution..."

Speaking of the NHL, local New York radio station WFAN had a funeral for the NHL season this past year. They had a procession and eulogy and everything. Why do funeral processions go through red lights? I mean, they're dead so what's the hurry?

"Ava Gardner or Lana Turner? Who would you rather nail? I disqualify myself because I done 'em both"-Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra on SNL

"Milli Vanilli, what's with this faggot crap?"-Phil Hartman, SNL

"The bald chick, Sine-Aid O'Connor, what's with her head? Let's start with the chick. What's with the cueball? I'm lookin' at you, I'm thinkin' 14 in the side pocket."-Phil Hartman as Sinatra

TZRider....

What's Baretta saying these days???

He's in quite a pickle to say the least. I'm pretty curious to see if he's found guilty or not. As somebody who really enjoyed Baretta back in the day, I hope to heck he didn't do it and that he's found not guilty. I can't watch anything with OJ Simpson in it, and if Blake is convicted then I would have a very difficult time watching Baretta. The case against him is not very strong from what I hear.

TZRider....

What's Baretta saying these days???

That reminds me of something funny I saw on The Chappelle Show a few weeks back. He was doing this skit where he was being questioned for jury duty for all these famous trials involving black celebrities, like O.J., Michael Jackson and R. Kelly. So, he kept making all these crazy excuses for all of them (I think he said something like "all brothers keep bloody gloves around the house" in reference to O.J.) and then when they asked him about the Robert Blake trial he says, "Oh yeah, Baretta did that shit".

"She's dead, wrapped in plastic." Pete Martell (Jack Nance) Twin Peaks 1990

Grrrrrrrrrrr...

Hey, they said it, not me!

But I did think it was funny...

That 70s Show
Episode: 'Grandma's Dead'

Marty (Red's brother): "Eric is acting out. He doesnt have the emotional tools to deal with this tragedy."
Red: "You're an emotional tool Marty."

I hate Seinfeld, but in one episode, I liked Elaine's explanation for why women look good naked and men look bad naked--"A woman's body is a work of art. A man's body is utilitarian. It's for getting around. It's like a jeep."

I'd forgotten about this thread.

CSI:NY is full of good lines--

Det. Danny Messer: "Bet you never seen anything like that (a tiger mauling at the Zoo) back in Montana."
Det. Lindsay Monroe: "You ever seen what a full-grown black bear can do to a man?"

Danny: "Bet you never seen anything like this (NYC skyline) back in Montana, no? Nothing but cornfields."
Lindsay: "Have you ever even seen a cornfield?" (she walks away)

Lindsay: "You think Danny calls me Montana because I'm a 49ers fan?"

Danny: "Just take a deep breath, relax, don't let him know you're scared."
Lindsay: "Tiger's tranquilized. I think I can handle it."
Danny: "I was talking about Mac."

(Sid is talking about how mummification was partially done as a defense against physical--and other kinds of--abuse of a corpse)
Dr. Hawkes (Hill Harper): "Sid? Sid! *pause* You're going to that sick place again."

Hawkes: "Did you know that J.Lo's a** is supposedly insured for ten million dollars?"

Det. Stella Bonasera: "La Perla underwear. These babies start at $250."
Danny: "I buy my BVD's in a three-pack for $10."

Lindsay: "Danny, you've been staring at that piece of glass for five minutes now. Do you want me to process it, or are you waiting for it to turn back into sand?"

Dr Peyton Driscoll: "Thank you for dinner."
Det. Mac Taylor: "Well, I told you, I can make a mean cheeseburger."

Det. Don Flack (to a thief who ran from him): "Are you forgetting that I was right behind you when you had your little clearance sale?"

(Stella and Mac on seeing a murder victim dressed as a mermaid)
Stella: "No throwing this one back."
Mac: "This one's a keeper."

Wow, talk about a resurrection! This one hadn't been touched in over two years.
The thread I mean.

CSI: NY--

Danny: "I don't see what the big deal is. A diamond is just an allotrope of the element carbon."
Lindsay: "Spoken like a true romantic."

Det. Flack: "So, what do you have back in Montana?"
Lindsay: *pause* "Wyoming."

Danny: "Nixon Suicide, right? You're free."
Nixon: "Never wasn't. *pause* You feel like having a couple of cocktails? Maybe knock back a few, see where the night takes us?"
Danny: "I have to say, that sounds pretty tempting. But, I'll have to pass. Maybe next time."
Nixon: *touches his nose* "Being with a Suicide Girl, you don't know what you're missing."

Archie Bunker (All In The Family) "Eedit, if your bathroom water was meant for cooking, your kitchen'd be up there in your terlit!"

George Costanza(Seinfeld) [After getting masaged by a male massuese]"Jerry, it moved!"

Ralph Kramden (The Honeymooners): "You got a friend Harvey who's bigger than you? I've got a friend Shirley who's bigger than you!"

The Simpsons:

Mr. Burns [after being offended by a song that the Ramones performed for him]:"Smithers, have the Rolling Stones killed."

Smithers:"But sir, those aren't the Ro..."

Mr. Burns:"Do as I say!"

George, the wimpy man to whom Ralph says this, is played by Leslie Barrett, who is one of the two men puzzled over the disappearance of the Arrow One in "I Shot an Arrow into the Air."

George, the wimpy man to whom Ralph says this, is played by Leslie Barrett, who is one of the two men puzzled over the disappearance of the Arrow One in "I Shot an Arrow into the Air."

I never noticed that!!!!!! Thanks!!!!

You're welcome. In case you're interested, Harvey was played by George Mathews. He never appeared on TZ, but he was in two Alfred Hitchcock Presents episodes. Mathews died in 1984, but Barrett is still with us. In fact, I saw him at the first convention of the Royal Association for the Longevity and Preservation of The Honeymooners (R. A. L. P. H.) in 1984. He spoke to an appreciative audience and threw in George's "He-he-he-he!"

You must've been reading my mind! After my previous post, I was saying to myself "What was the name of the guy who playerd Harvey?- I know it's George something!".

Do you know off hand if Charles Corvin (the Mamba Dancer in a Honeymooners ep) was in any TZ's? (Just seemed like somebody who might've been).

No, he never did. Of course, there's Art Carney. George Petrie, an all-purpose Honeymooners character actor, was the driver in "In His Image." Besides them and Barrett, these are the people I know who appeared in both series ("Classic 39" Honeymooners only):

Frank Behrens (Bert Wedemeyer)
Betty Garde (Thelma the maid)
Ned Glass (Teddy Oberman)
Ken Lynch (Detective in "Trapped" -- "And thanks ... for nothing!")
Joseph Ruskin (In "Something Fishy," I think as one of the Raccoons)

No, he never did. Of course, there's Art Carney. George Petrie, an all-purpose Honeymooners character actor, was the driver in "In His Image." Besides them and Barrett, these are the people I know who appeared in both series ("Classic 39" Honeymooners only):

Frank Behrens (Bert Wedemeyer)
Betty Garde (Thelma the maid)
Ned Glass (Teddy Oberman)
Ken Lynch (Detective in "Trapped" -- "And thanks ... for nothing!")
Joseph Ruskin (In "Something Fishy," I think as one of the Raccoons)

Wow! That's quite a list for a show that had so few quest stars! (It always cracked me up how they used George Petrie to play 98% of the non-recurring characters...even in the "lost" eps)